Chrona's musings
by Elessar92
Summary: a series of one-shots that will all revolve around Chrona...
1. Chapter 1

"A sound soul resides in a sound mind and sound body."

But what is "sound?"

Is it the noise Ragnarok makes during Resonance?

No.

_They_ tell me it means to be "strong, reliable," or "good."

_They_ say that anyone can have a sound soul, and so that I can too.

But they don't understand…

I'm the one who is locked in a room, wasting away in its' darkest, dankest corner.

Beaten.

Lost.

Forgotten.

No one understands why I hide my face in my lap in a futile attempt to disappear,

Or why I live life in utter silence,

without a single thought or will of my own, only using those forcibly given to me.

No one knows my pain,

And of the Madness that threatens to swallow, whispering evil in my head,

Urging me to do bad things,

and succeeding in making me consider them.

No-one is sad that I dream of only darkness and despair,

No one understands that I'd never want to dream of killing _them,_

yet finds myself doing so anyway.

Can no one also be "sound?"

……………………….

Because_ I_ am no- one.


	2. Chapter 2

Chrona could feel it-

Deep inside his heart, he knew he was going to die.

And he was afraid, very afraid.

…………………….

It was 2 weeks after being captured by Arachne.

After being dragged unwillingly to her place, he was thrown in a dark dungeon deep within the vaults of her castle.

No food.

No water.

All alone.

At first he didn't understand-

Why did Arachne need him? What use was he to her?

But after a few days, he slowly began to understand….

He was no use to her.

She just wanted to kill him, and rid the world of him, just like Medusa-sama wanted.

Why did it seem that everyone wanted him dead?

Chrona sighed.

"It's so dark…" he mumbled.

He hated the dark- he had ever since he was little. And Medusa would exploit it, by using it to punish him when he did not obey orders. He could feel the madness grow heavier and crush all around him, reaching for him through the darkness.

He stifled a gasp, and attempted to hide from the dark hands by

clutching his knees tighter and hiding his face away .

Ragnarok burst out- "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing…"

"You baka! Worrying me for no reason! Stupid –(yank)- stupid!!"

"Oww! I'm sorry!"

But Ragnarok knew that was a lie. He knew what was wrong- it was _everything_.

None of this should have happened: he knew that of all the people in the world, his meister was the least deserving of such a fate. It wasn't fair- Chrona never really had a chance to ever prove himself….

He was interrupted from his thoughts with:

"Ragnarok?"

"Hmm?"

"When we die…. do you…do you think we'll go to heaven?"

--Sigh—

"I don't think so…"

"O-okay…"

--Silence—

Ragnarok looked at his pathetic meister, hoping for more of a reply, but none came. It was no more than what he expected- and he knew he couldn't offer any words of comfort if he did anyway…for even death wouldn't end the fear and the pain.

There was no hope left in him.

_I'm sorry Chrona…_then he dissolved back into the black blood; leaving poor Chrona alone to deal with the crushing darkness of the dungeon.

The only sound that could be heard that night was the sound of a soft cry, echoing off the walls and into the blissful darkness.

Then silence.

**This made me sad when I wrote this- **

**So I will make Chrona a bit happier next chapter! =)**

**Hope you liked it!**

p.s.- I don't own Soul Eater. (just in case)


	3. Chapter 3

-Chrona's mindscape-

" What are you going to do once the others find out about your betrayal?" asked the shadow.

"Pass."

--Sigh--

"You can't do this anymore, Chrona." Stated the shadow in a solemn tone.

"Yes I can." Chrona responded, while making a small mark in the sand at the same time.

"No, you can't. Once they find out about it, you will be severely punished. And you know what that means…"

Chrona's teeth clenched and trembled nervously. "I know…." Chrona said in a soft, detached tone, so softly one had to struggle to hear.

"Maka will be so disappointed….don't you know?" the shadow asked with a smug smile, "And then she will hate you- and you wouldn't be able to deal with that, I'm sure. They will lock you up in that room and she will never trust you again. She wouldn't even look at you again."

"How do you know that? May-maybe she will forgive me…. They are so nice here….."

"You're wrong!" the shadow exclaimed, sharply. "They are only nice because they think you are a good child." Then it evilly added, "just like Marie."

Chrona felt a surge of guilt. "Marie-sensei…."

It continued, " The only thing you can do is go back to Medusa-sama and help her with her plans… that is where you belong. Everything will be fine."

" But- but I don't want to go back among mad people…"

"Oh, you can't help that." Said the shadow. "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

"How do you know I'm mad?" Chrona remarked.

"You must be- or else you wouldn't have come here…." Answered the shadow with a deranged smirk.

--Silence—

"So let's try this again-" stated the shadow. " what are you going to do when they find out about your betrayal?"

"……."

"……"

"……."

"….. I don't know."


	4. Chapter 4

_**Authors Note: Hey guys, I know I said I would write a happier story, but until I can come up with good one; here's the next chapter, if you want to call it that. I tried to write it in Ragnarok's point of view and keep Chrona genderless….**_

_**Please R & R! It would be greatly appreciated!**_

_**I don't own Soul Eater. (I would love to ~'if only in my dreams' ~) lol.**_

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His meister was dying.

He was sure of it- Chrona's pale face was ashen -looking now and the black blood seeped from his body. His once light pink hair and darkened into a sickening color, damp from the black blood. And there was a horrible metallic smell that clung to the air, like the air itself was soaked with blood too. He no longer had any control over it, and for once in his life, Ragnarok felt truly useless.

"Chrona…" he tried to prod him awake, "come' on, wake up."

All he received was a slight groan in response.

"Are you alright?" Ragnarok demanded.

He watched as his meister desperately tried to collect some energy to respond. Finally, Chrona answered, "y-yes…I just need to rest a …a little…" but the child's voice was rough and scratchy and seemed to fade away, even to Ragnarok's ears.

'Rest' my ass. What a lie.

Ragnarok could feel it too, the cold that seemed to seep through to his soul. He could feel the biting numbness spread like a disease throughout his entire body, his arm felt like they were detached and forgotten. He felt like a slow moving slug as he morphed out behind his meister's back, and he trembled to keep himself together in form. No. He was strong; he was not going to die here, alone and forgotten. That was the only thing he had ever truly feared for in life.

"Chrona, get up. We will not die here, at least." He waited desperately for an answer, but Chrona remained still and unmoving.

A single raindrop hit his cheek. Then another. And another

Ragnarok looked up, and saw a dark gray sky. He smirked at the irony of the situation- weather always found a way to reflect emotions. It was like God itself was crying. He didn't even bother to shield himself from the frigid rain. But as he lay there holding his meister's limp head, a sense of hatred overtook him. God should not be crying- it was too late for that. If God ever gave a damn, it should've done something before this had ever happened- it had never cried for them before so why now?

"R-Ragnarok…" Chrona's voice was now so weak; he at first didn't hear, but after the second time, he was pulled out of his thoughts.

"Yes?" he murmured quietly, for once. He might as well comfort the poor kid in death, plus he didn't have the heart to induce any more grief on the child. Chrona had never deserved any of it.

"I-I'm so sorry…I've f-failed…"

Ragnarok felt a pang of guilt. "No Chrona, you didn't."

"I- I didn't?" the child's voice rasped.

"No," he responded, " no you…." But he was interrupted by a sickly cough from his meister, and as he looked, he cringed at seeing black blood seep from the mouth. Chrona smiled weakly at him, and let a sigh of relief escape from the lips. Ragnarok did not need to continue, because he knew his meister understood why. They had been partners forever, and knew everything about each other.

But as he looked at Chrona once again, he was surprised to find a content smile on the child's face. "What's with the smile?" he asked.

Chrona continues to smile softly, but answers even weaker than before in a soft, dreamy voice. "I've always liked the rain… do- do you like it?"

What a strange question. "Why?"

"It's so cool, and clean…. and when-whenever I'm in it, it feels like- like I become lighter, and cleaner, and all the bad things seem to slip away…."

Ragnarok hummed in thought.

"Maybe your right Chrona. I'd never thought of it that way… I guess I do like it." All dark thoughts of the rain vanished from his mind right then. And it did seem to become cleansing- the blood filled air seemed to wash away, and the blood that smeared Chrona's face disappeared along with it. And all inhibitions were swept away. Maybe The God did care for them after all…

They each laid there in silence, content in each other's presence, each feeling their souls getting lighter by the second.

"I- I'm just glad y-you're with me here, and now…." Chrona continued, "… you- you've always been… a-and I thank you."

Ragnarok balked in surprise, looking at Chrona with wide eyes and in realization. He hadn't realized until then, how ridiculous his fear was. He had never been alone. Chrona had always been there with him, every step of the way, and would continue to do so. Ragnarok would have a witness to his death, just like he would be for Chrona's.

"You too, Chrona." He replies. All went calm- and even when Chrona ceased moving, and Ragnarok settled into ceaseless silence, they knew they still had each other.

And that's all that ever truly mattered.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Soul Eater._

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There's long spells- 3 days, and even years- when I can't see a thing, and I only know where I am when the harsh tones of Medusa-sama gives me my next assignment. But when I can see, the others are moving around as unconcerned as though they didn't notice the so many lies that cloud the air.

How can they not see them?

Even Ragnarok doesn't seem to know he's been fooled. If he does, he makes sure to not let on that he scared of it. He makes sure that I never see him bothered by anything; for he knows that there's no better way to protect yourself than by acting like your not bothered. I wish I could.

I used to be afraid. Terrified even. I still am. I would often wake up able to see: being able to hear the sounds of muffled whispers and even screams. Were they of pain? Happiness? Or were they just screams? I could never really tell. The smell of death heavy in the air… Right and left there are other things just as bad, horrible things too outlandish to cry out about, and all too real to laugh about - the madness is getting thick enough so that I begin to not see anything else other than those dark hands that reach and reach yet never touch. But something's tugging at my arm. I know already what will happen: somebody will drag me out of the madness, and we'll be back in that room again and there won't be a sign of what went on tonight and if I was a fool enough to try to tell Ragnarok about it he'd say:

" Idiot! You just had a nightmare; things as crazy as hands groping in darkness and people screaming and dying don't exist!"

But if they don't exist, why do I still see them? It is still there, just abiding its' time to attack once again when I'm vulnerable. Which is… nearly all the time. My throat itches to ask what he thinks we are, but words cannot form past my shaking lips. I know Ragnarok can't help it any more than I could. Nobody can help. And the more I think about how nothing can be helped, the faster the madness rolls in. What can I do? I'm weak, and I have no chance against it.

Is it really wrong that I'm glad when it is thick enough that I get lost in it? I… I can just let go of everything, and be safe again. There, at least, having Black blood is fine.

Unable to deal with these thoughts and feelings, I just cover my ears and try to block out all the screeching and ringing by going back to sleep.

It can wait for tomorrow.

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_**Authors Note: I hope you all enjoyed my take on Chrona's madness. =D I tried to make it sound like his own thoughts, and how he views his own madness. I think my next chapter will be a take off on this, I liked writing it.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Soul Eater.**

**Cooking Disaster**

"Ah, Chrona! Geko."

He jumped in surprise.

"I'm going to bake a cake! Would you like some?"

His look of complete surprise was heart breaking. "R-really?"

"Of course, geko! I will even show you how!"

With happy grins, they walked around the corner to find a certain werewolf leaning on a pillar, dozing. His eyes crack open as they approach. His lips curled into a small smile.

He yawned, " 'Afternoon."

"Ah Free… you're coming too."

"Oh, ok…wait…. WHAT?" he screeched.

"We're making cake, geko. You know you love it!" She smiled at him. Chrona noticed how the man's cheeks reddened, for some reason. Chrona didn't think Eruka noticed, but then again her cheeks did the same thing. So he decided not to comment. Not that he would have anyway.

---in the kitchen---

"So why am I helping again?" Free asked boredly, as they were gathering the ingredients.

"Because." Eruka stated simply.

"And pray tell me… why are we cooking it in my kitchen?"

"Because yours is the only one with regular ingredients in this whole house, geko."

"…"

"…"

"I don't really want to know." Free stated.

Eruka glanced at a book in her hand. "Ok, we need… flour, sugar, eggs, oil, vanilla extract… this seems easy enough."

"Err… are you sure you know how to cook?" Free asked as he watched her drag a huge bag of four across the floor.

"Of course, geko. Now go get me 2 eggs! And Chrona- preheat the oven!" she said as she continued to struggle trying to open the bag. After a few more seconds, a fleeting idea struck her. "Ah, Chrona… could you and Ragnarok possibly open it?"

Eager to help in any way, shape or form, he did so without hesitation.

"Ragnarok…"

"SCREAMING RESONANCE!" they cry, followed by a swing of an arm.

The bag bursts open with an impressive 'Poof', and suddenly a huge shower of white fluff was sent into the air, covering everything, including the 4 in the room.

"Ano… I'm sorry!" Chrona wailed, waving his arms around and causing some flour to rear up and swirl around.

Still in shock, Eruka reached up and wiped the flour out of her eyes, taking time to look at their bowl.

"Hey, don't worry, geko! Look, some went in!"

"Oh good, that was all the flour I had." Free stated.

They all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ok, now for the oil and eggs." She carefully measured the appropriate amount of oil to be added. "Now you add the eggs, Free."

"Err… am I supposed to put the whole egg in?"  
Eruka balked. "Umm… I think so."

"Ok…" he threw the eggs in.

"Now what?" he asked. Eruka looked at her book "Now the vanilla extract." She carefully took out a small vile and held it under her nose. "It smells so good…" She said, measuring a small teaspoon and pouring it in. "This doesn't seem like enough…" So she dumped about a third of the bottle in, "this will give it more flavor. Now, it says to beat the mixture thoroughly."

"What?... It wants me to hit the batter?" Free asked.

Eruka shrugged.

With an excited grin, he rolled his shirt up, took a fighters stance, and proceeded to beat the mixture to a pulp; causing satisfying 'Crunch' noises.

After he finished, they all glanced at the bowls contents.

"Umm… is it supposed to look like- like that?" Chrona asked, timidly gazing at the rather globby white substance, with noticeable eggshells floating around.

"It's what the book says, geko. So it's right."

"… I think we should have taken the shell out." Free stated.

"Well… a few pieces won't hurt anyone." She said.

Free took the bowl and poured it into 2 pans to put in the oven.

He gave them to Chrona to put into the oven.

"Wait! I wanted to add some color to it, geko!" she quickly grabbed the two cakes, "and no peeking, it's a surprise!"

The boys in the room looked at each other and shrugged. _'Women…'_

--1hour later--

…

'_What did she do to it?!' _They all thought.

"Here, taste it!" She exclaimed.

Both Free and Chrona gaze at the _green_ cake that she served with a ceremonious 'slop' sound as it hit the plate. It wasn't even a similar texture to a cake- it looked slimy and, dare they say it, _'Frog-like?!'_. Figures.

She watched them, anticipating their bites.

1 second.

2 seconds.

The cake twitched. Both Chrona and Free looked at each other; both with equal expressions of fear.

3 seconds. 4 seconds.

They started to sweat.

5… BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

"Oh! I almost forgot geko!"

Eruka jumped up and went toward the kitchen.

They sighed in relief. Ragnarok sprung out. "Oh thank god! What did she do to it? That's no cake! It looks nauseating!"

Free's face looked sick.

"Oh you have no idea how it smells like- my werewolf senses are stronger than humans."

Chrona grimaced. If it smelled like death to him, he did not want to know how it smelled like for Free…

Chrona cautiously poked it with the end of his fork, and watched in amazement as it slowly sludged away.

"…"

"…"

"Did it just move?" Free asked.

"Y-yeah…"

They shuddered.

Eruka came back in, carrying the second cake. "There! The second cake is ready!"

Glancing around, she beamed, seeing that the two of them (or 3 counting Ragnarok) had eaten their piece of 'cake'.

"Oh good, you liked it then! Could you please try this one please? You too Chrona- you defiantly could use a little more weight." She lifted up two plates towards them, sporting a large smile accentuated by the swirly dots that she had on each side, and eyes shining bright, so much so that they could not refuse.

Let's just say that night they became best friends with the bathrooms on the third floor.

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**Author's note:**

**Haha- poor Free and Chrona. I could not help but have fun in torturing them. =D Thank you Not Jack Frost for the idea!**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note: **_

**Sorry about the wait- I've been working a lot lately, and haven't felt the desire to write. But this idea came to me as I was gazing at the stars the other day while I was in the hot tub. I hope you all enjoy! =) Please R&R.**

**P.S.- The book title is something my sibling got as a gift for graduation day, and I thought it was perfect theme for this.**

_**Disclaimer:**_** I don't own soul eater**

**---**

"Hey look Chrona…" Spirit says.

We are paused on a virtually full floor, most of the lights on. A Book Sale sign blocks my view towards the back, which is where he is pointing to, but I realize that that was what he wanted me to see. "A book?"

"Yeah- books are Maka's favorite. Of all other gifts, she appreciates a good book the most."

Spirit is currently browsing through the stores in search of a perfect gift to present to Maka on this special day- her day of graduating to become a Death Scythe miester. He had asked me to help choose a great gift for her, since I was her friend. The room we are now in is huge and now it's filled with large long rows of shelves, which are filled to the rim with books of various sizes.

"Thank you so much for coming Chrona. With you here, it should only take a second. I need your opinion before I buy her a present, because last time was unfortunately…. Not a good choice on my part…."

The sheepishness in his voice makes me smile. "Oh- okay. It's no problem." I respond. "Let's go find one then." We begin our hunt through the racks.

Quickly he spots a title that catches his interest: _Oh, the Places You'll Go!_ By Dr. Seuss. In his excitement, he ushers me over to read the description that filled the little card underneath the book. After reading it, I tell him "It's… perfect."

With a happy air, he quickly reaches up to grab the book. He brings it down carefully as to not ruin its perfect-ness. Unfortunately, as soon as he opens it up to check the pages, the whole thing falls apart; the binding is old and defected. In a surprised stupor, we gaze at the pile of papers on the floor, and decide to just stuff them back in and hide the book back on the shelf.

After calming ourselves (we don't want the book clerk to know that we destroyed a book), he searches for another copy of the book in the same spot. But it's not there. We check the titles of the books on either side of shelf, but it's not there either.

His disappointment is something physical I can feel beside me in the room.

"Ano… I- I'm sorry" I tell him.

His dark mood becomes chirpier. He clasps his hands together, though his eyes glisten. "Ah, it's ok- it's no big deal at all! It's nothing. There are tons of other bookstores here that we can look in, and the initiation ceremony lasts a couple of days. So we have until then. It's nothing at all."

And then, once more, he turns to check the rack again. He shifts books over and looks behind every one of them, before putting them back in place.

I turn my back on him as he does this. The top of my head feels as if it was about to blow off. I gasp once and tears spring to my eyes, filling them. Quickly, I cough and choke down the sob and I wipe my tears with my left wrist.

"Yeah, not here. Okay, shall we go then?" he says.

I felt it.

The love… it was so strong. How could I possibly describe it? It's a force of nature. It is great, like a hurricane but wonderful instead of horrible.

The pride this man felt for his daughter, to become a Death Scythe miester. For his daughter. It is completely overpowering.

Never in my life had I felt something like it.

Of course I know parents love their kids. I have seen movies on TV at Maka's house. I have observed Marie-sensei with her students.

I get it.

But until this moment, I have not felt it. And now, I have. And it's not even mine. It came from somebody else and was not intended for me. It is not mine. And yet, I felt it. There was so much of it, so much of everything fine and good and wonderful and… _right_ with the world inside him that he could not contain it.

The grief I feel is crushing. As we leave the room, I follow him because my legs are shaking and I know that if he were to look at me he would ask "Are you ok?" and I'm not. I am not ok.

Because I feel what it is that I did not have. I never felt it before.

How can you really miss something when you've never had it? The longing is pure book knowledge, just an idea.

But tonight, I felt it. And… what would I give to feel it just once- all for me?

As we descend down the stairs I am shaking as I sob silently. I breathe carefully as to not make a sound and the tears that sprinkle my eyes are blinked back. Even Ragnarok stays quiet.

Out on the street, the laughing sun hits us from a low angle and the sky is a fiery hue. A huge crowd surrounds a stadium set up to congratulate the new Death Scythes for their achievement. People are all standing and clapping their hands in a thunderous roar. The metals that were given on each of the graduates reflect the burning color of the sky. And Maka's beaming smile adds to the glare. This is her day, not mine. I have no right to feel this way today.

But even though the sky is still bright, I can see the moon and beside it a few stars… or are they planets? I know that behind all this, in the darkness that's hidden by the light, are other planets and countless stars- whole galaxies, just like ours. Other worlds.

And I can't help but think that maybe on one of them, there is another me. And I am wearing my black dress with my name stitched to the front of it, and I am standing on stage as Shinigami-sama hands me a metal too, and out in the audience, all I see is the radiance of one woman whose eyes are so gleaming gold they blind me. And she is smiling and weeping and she is my mother and she loves me with all of the force of the expanding universe. She looks at me and mouths the words I've always wanted to hear: "I'm so proud of you- I love you."


End file.
